A rebuttal of Ch. 11 of Your Best Life Now

Chapter 11: Be Happy With Who You Are
Rebuttal

The title of this chapter is somewhat misleading. No one is arguing that it is a bad thing to be happy with who you are; it’s the how and why of being satisfied with oneself that comes into question. Right off the bat, Joel makes a sweeping statement that many of the world’s “social, physical, and emotional problems” are caused simply by “the fact that people don’t like themselves.” Granted it’s not a good to have people constantly wish that they were more like someone else or being insecure, but there is a line here. I challenge anyone to name five problems that were caused solely by someone’s low self esteem. Hitler had wonderful self esteem, he was sure that what he was doing was the right thing to do. Besides that, liking who you are is not a good thing if you are someone not worth liking. A healthy dissatisfaction with oneself can be very useful when one is engaged in or desperately needs rehabilitation for chemical dependency or is living one’s life in a manner that is destructive to others. While it is no doubt a good thing to be satisfied with who one is, I sincerely doubt that the absence of such a feeling is the cause for many of the world’s problems.

Next, Joel reminds us that we don’t need to look good in order to feel good. He says that wishing we were built differently or had a different personality is a wasted effort, and he is right. Where he errs is when he claims that “some people spend three-fourths of their time trying to be someone else.” How could he possibly quantify this? He cites no study or survey to support this “fact” and just assumes we’ll eat it right up without question. Joel extols us to enjoy the fact that we are different from other people. He reminds us that in so doing we should also be open to the advice of people wiser than ourselves and that we should not be foolhardy or rebellious. There’s nothing wrong here. However, the idea that “we never have permission to live an ungodly life” is false. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:12 that “‘everything is permissible for me’- but not everything is beneficial. ‘everything is permissible for me’- but I will not be mastered by anything”. Instead, Paul says in chapter ten, verse 31 of the same book, that “so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Over the next few paragraphs, Joel tells us that we are special just the way God made us, that we don’t need the permission of others to express ourselves and be who we want to be. This is all true. Joel tells us not to compare ourselves with others, and that “God has an individual plan for each of our lives.” This is also correct. Joel admits that he might never be the best preacher, husband, or father, but “as far as I’m concerned, I’m number one!” This is taking it one step too far. According to Psalm 25:9, “he guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.” According to Proverbs 3:34, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Finally, James 4:10 says that we should “humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” While it is only beneficial to be satisfied with oneself, the idea that everyone should think that they’re “number one” borders on pretentious and is not what the Bible teaches.

To some hilarious effect, the very next thing that is written after Joel’s claim to be “number one” is “that is what the Scripture teaches. It says ‘Let each one examine his own work.’ In other words, quit looking at what everyone else is doing and run your own race.” The text that Joel uses as support in the above quote is from Galatians 6:4 in the New King James Version. Here Joel quotes only half of the verse; the entirety of it in the NIV reads as follows: “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else.” This verse appears to support what Joel is saying in this chapter, and to some extent it does, just not in the way Joel is using it. According to the New Interpreter’s Bible, “Paul is convinced that authentic faith manifests itself in action” and therefore that “to test one’s ‘work’ is to examine whether it really embodies the loving character of Christ.” It is odd that the second half of the verse, which Joel omits, can be used to support the points he makes in this chapter, but he chooses to use the first half of the verse out of context to support a flawed assertion.

Joel tells us not to give in to peer pressure and that we can’t and shouldn’t try to please everyone; we need only please God. Joel also tells us that we should not hesitate to ask for the advice of people we know and trust. All of this is true. Joel, to bolster his point, claims that the Bible says, “there’s safety in a multitude of counselors.” This is another one of Joel’s made up verses; the closest thing to it is Proverbs 15:22, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.” It’s a pity that Joel either made up or mutilated a verse to support a perfectly valid point, especially when there are actual Bible verses that will do the job. For instance, Proverbs 12:15 says that “the way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”

Joel asks us, “Are you being the person God made you to be?” Who else can we be but the person God made us to be? To be someone other than the person God made us to be would mean that God’s plans can be circumvented by our own thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. Joel says that we shouldn’t try to live life with the objective of pleasing other people or trying to emulate their own lives, and he is right. He refers to Joshua taking on the role of the leader of Israel after Moses’s death. He quotes Joshua 1:5, inferring that “as I was with Moses, so shall I be with you” is God telling Joshua to be who he made him to be, “and then you’ll be successful.” Once again, Joel is using only half of the verse. The entire verse reads, “No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so shall I be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Contrary to what Joel would have us believe, God is telling Joshua that he has his back, so to speak; not encouraging him to be different and be his own man. This is another instance where Joel uses scripture out of context to support a point that could be just as easily bolstered by a verse used in context.

Most of what Joel says in Chapter 11 is true; he just takes it one step beyond legitimacy. It is mostly where he tries to use scripture that he fails in making arguments with any veracity. This concludes Part Two on developing a healthy self-image, and we are on to Part Three: Discover the Power of Your Thoughts and Words.